After my 4th or 5th time of rereading Emily's journey to health, I signed up for the 7-day trial of Calorie King. I can already tell I'm going to put up the money when it expires. It's addictive, like playing one of the Dragons of Atlantis games I'm obsessed with on Facebook, but in the real world! I love all the mini-steps.
Today, I went to a cycling class, and had my weekly session with my personal trainer. That, combined with absolutely no snacking (not planned, just happened), put me at a deficit of calories when I got home! In order to reach my target, which I had previously thought was going to be difficult to stay under, I had to consume more than 2000 calories at dinner. While I'm certain I have taken in easily that amount in a binge, it didn't happen tonight. I ate a vanilla skyr (Icelandic yogurt) while I wandered around trying to figure out what I wanted, since pretty much anything was up for grabs.
I ran through everything I could think of in my head- Pizza Hut? Didn't sound unappetizing, but didn't thrill me. Something healthy, then- tofu and quinoa? Same verdict. Whole wheat pasta with some indulgent white cheddar sauce? No, way too heavy. Brownies? Actually sounded decidedly unappetizing- I never thought I'd see the day. I finally came around to the taste of a Red Baron cheese pizza. But surely this would be too much, I thought. When it comes to pizzas, I have a disturbing tendency to eat well over half in one sitting. I looked it up on Calorie King. Nope, even eating half the pizza would barely put a dent.
So I ended up eating half a pizza. I still have over 1000 calories that I am supposed to make up, but I'm just not going to. For starters, it's after 11pm now, and I am usually in bed by this point. Ideally already asleep. And, even though I am excited to proceed with this, I'm not going to kid myself into thinking that everyday is going to fall like today. I'm going to be glad to have that 1000 when the week evens out, I'd imagine.
Still, I like knowing that I can buy the extra calories with a spinning class, when I really need a treat!
I'm also noticing that now that I've eaten the pizza, I feel very heavy and slow. Not in a sick way, like I do when I binge, or eat too much pasta and cheddar sauce (still can't figure out what exactly in that combo unsettles my stomach). I probably always feel this way, and have just never noticed before. Ending on pizza psychologically feels like I didn't accomplish anything towards my weight loss and fitness goals today, when I logically know that it was just the opposite. Something to think about.