Calorie Counting

After my 4th or 5th time of rereading Emily's journey to health, I signed up for the 7-day trial of Calorie King. I can already tell I'm going to put up the money when it expires. It's addictive, like playing one of the Dragons of Atlantis games I'm obsessed with on Facebook, but in the real world! I love all the mini-steps.

Today, I went to a cycling class, and had my weekly session with my personal trainer. That, combined with absolutely no snacking (not planned, just happened), put me at a deficit of calories when I got home! In order to reach my target, which I had previously thought was going to be difficult to stay under, I had to consume more than 2000 calories at dinner. While I'm certain I have taken in easily that amount in a binge, it didn't happen tonight. I ate a vanilla skyr (Icelandic yogurt) while I wandered around trying to figure out what I wanted, since pretty much anything was up for grabs.

I ran through everything I could think of in my head- Pizza Hut? Didn't sound unappetizing, but didn't thrill me. Something healthy, then- tofu and quinoa? Same verdict. Whole wheat pasta with some indulgent white cheddar sauce? No, way too heavy. Brownies? Actually sounded decidedly unappetizing- I never thought I'd see the day. I finally came around to the taste of a Red Baron cheese pizza. But surely this would be too much, I thought. When it comes to pizzas, I have a disturbing tendency to eat well over half in one sitting. I looked it up on Calorie King. Nope, even eating half the pizza would barely put a dent.

So I ended up eating half a pizza. I still have over 1000 calories that I am supposed to make up, but I'm just not going to. For starters, it's after 11pm now, and I am usually in bed by this point. Ideally already asleep. And, even though I am excited to proceed with this, I'm not going to kid myself into thinking that everyday is going to fall like today. I'm going to be glad to have that 1000 when the week evens out, I'd imagine.

Still, I like knowing that I can buy the extra calories with a spinning class, when I really need a treat!

I'm also noticing that now that I've eaten the pizza, I feel very heavy and slow. Not in a sick way, like I do when I binge, or eat too much pasta and cheddar sauce (still can't figure out what exactly in that combo unsettles my stomach). I probably always feel this way, and have just never noticed before. Ending on pizza psychologically feels like I didn't accomplish anything towards my weight loss and fitness goals today, when I logically know that it was just the opposite. Something to think about.

Favorite Leg Exercises of the Moment

Static lunges. Do them. I couldn't even complete two sets.

I think they are in an article on... Self.com right now? Basically, go into a deep lunge (ideally, both legs should be bent 90 degrees), activate your core, and hold for 30 seconds. One set is doing both legs. Takes only 1 minute, and I was wobbly. I did a different static exercise on their list, took a few minutes, then went back to do another set of static lunges. Barely made it through the first leg, and had to cop out after about 15 seconds on the next. Killer. So awesome.



Also, if you have cycling/spinning classes near you: take them. I've lost almost 5 inches off my thighs in the past two months, and I am positive it is down to hitting a spinning class 2-5 times a week.

Back on Track

First, a quick look at where I'm at:

I joined a gym upon my return to San Antonio, frustrated at my lack of progress last semester. It has lots of group classes, which I attend pretty regularly. Zumba, cycling, yogilates, ab classes, the works. I also do cardio and weights on my own time, and one a week meet with a personal trainer for 30 minutes to make certain I am getting really put through my paces at least once per week. On a bad week, I am working out about 5 hours in total. On a standard week, I'd say it's 8-10. On a good week, 15.

So, working out is going pretty well. I'm already building strength, making improvements in my assisted pull-up, and I was able to follow along with the entire cycling routine on Friday. I didn't go full out with some of the resistance, but I did all of the stands and hovers, and all of the speedwork, and made some effort with the resistance.


Food is where I am still struggling. I am getting in nutrients here and there- I finally got a decent blender, and have made smoothies on several occasions. I have also been using my Starbucks gift card left over from who knows when to get smoothies occasionally after workouts. But all in all, it's been pretty sad.

To that end, I decided today to pick back up with my food journal. After logging my morning meals, I decided to take a look back at that solid month of journaling I did last summer, when I was really making an effort food-wise.

It is astonishing how little food the human body can function on, when it is the right kind. I was eating small meals, or maybe even large snacks, 3-5 times a day, with one larger indulgence every couple of days. If I combine that type of eating with the working out I am doing now, I will see results. No two ways around it.

I've been self-sabotaging for so long, grumbling that the major things I ate during that period were Trader Joe's products that I can't get here- ww pita pockets, TJs hummus, and TJs vanilla Greek yogurt. No other hummus or yogurt is that good, and good luck finding any pita, much less mini pita pockets. Well, you know what? I can pretend. Whole Foods  had some whole wheat pita pockets (full sized) the other day, and I grabbed some. I have tahini and everything I need to make my own hummus, and there are decent brands out there. And I can just suck it up and eat a different yogurt. There is an intriguing option in the vanilla skyr they sell at Whole Foods, and I do hear good things about Fage. I can even try getting plain Greek yogurt and mixing in vanilla bean paste on my own.

And I need to stop fearing the pasta. Yes, white cheddar sauce on ww pasta isn't as high on the nutritional scale as one of the salads on Oh She Glows, or even a bean burrito. But a reasonably sized portion of that (and when I was having them on a semi-regular basis, I was eating very reasonable portion sizes) is worlds better than giving in to a binge on white cheddar popcorn, or eating half of a pizza in one sitting. Same with the whole wheat tortellini with olive oil. Continue to work to diversify, but don't fear the pasta.

But if I'm really not feeling the bean and cheese plate, which I haven't been lately, I can certainly switch it up with a bowl of Kashi or a green smoothie. No need to make it uncomfortable.

Future Fitness and Food

I ran my first 5k on Thanksgiving morning- a recap is to come. For now, a quick look at my upcoming fitness endeavors:

1. The Santa Antonio 5k on Dec. 3
2. 4 Belly dancing classes, courtesy of GroupOn
3. 10 boxing and/or kickboxing classes, courtesy of GroupOn
4. Restarting SuperFit over the Christmas holiday

I'm learning that I really need things scheduled like this to keep moving. I'm glad to have so many options coming up!

At home for a few more days, enjoying having access to my beloved Trader Joes favorites- the vanilla Greek yogurt, the whole wheat mini pita pockets, and the huge tubs of hummus. I have plans to completely purge my kitchen when I get back to Texas, probably my whole house. Likely an epic undertaking that will take several hours of constant work, but I think it will be worth it. If I want to succeed in my apartment, I need to make it replicate the environments where I have succeeded before. I've been identifying foods I need to stock (doing a fairly good job there already, but a few new things need to be added to the rotation), and foods I need to toss (mainly my eggs- I only use them for making naughty things).

First Thing

This is the second time this week that I have done my run first thing in the morning, and I think it is agreeing with me. Today's run included two bursts of 3 minutes of running, and I actually pulled it off. I played music for both of them, otherwise running in silence, and the first two minutes passed pretty quickly. I definitely felt my lungs a little in the last minute each time, but considering that it is twice the length of time I have run before, I'm calling it good.

Form felt pretty good. I noticed that when I made a conscious effort to speed up my foot-turnover, a little pain started creeping back into my Achilles area. So I eased off a little bit, and it went away again. Again, had a few moments where it all felt right and natural.

My main problem now is that it is freezing cold in my apartment (southern Texas has finally recognized that it is indeed November), so I have absolutely no inclination to go get on my bike or do any homework (even though I have a space heater set up next to my desk). I just want to snuggle under my covers and watch Tony-centric episodes of NCIS. But I promised myself that the DVDs would only be viewed from the bike, and I've already cheated and watched 2 episodes from my nest, so I should really cut it out.

So, in short, it's a very good thing that I just went out and got in my run this morning (it was actually almost noon, but that's beside the point). I got it out of the way before I could come up with excuses not to.

Building Better Ankles

After taking about a week off, I got back on my running schedule today to finish off Week 2. And I actually think the week off did me some good. While my ankles felt a little funny, I think my leg and ankle muscles have really developed over the past few weeks, because I didn't notice any pain until I was almost done with the program. I definitely felt the cardio in my lungs, but not to the point where I had to stop. A few times I even went over the target running time by accident. The whole endeavor just started to feel more natural. Time passed quickly, and I was able to run happily without any music (even though my iPod was actually charged for once). And when I got home, I was able to put a big X through another training day. Hooray!

P90X again tonight, more juicing, and more time on the bike. I have been also taking a serious break from juicing, so I'm going to make up for it today by trying out broccoli in a juice. I'm thinking broccoli, spinach, collard greens, and an apple. Should be very green! On the bike front, however, I've been much better. I've gotten obsessed with NCIS lately, and I've taken to marathoning episodes from my bike, on and off throughout the day. I've logged as many as 25 miles in one day, which is exciting.

Now I should really go have breakfast. What shall it be?...

Potentials and Partners

Today's juice: celery, kale stems, and apple, with chia seeds mixed in and left to gel. Not the most pleasant drink. I don't think I'm a fan of celery. It seems oddly... peppery? I'd like to get used to the chia part, however. Once my mind and body have gotten used to juicing (at least another week, if not two, I should think), I'd like to grit my teeth and try a 10 -Day "ReBoot," or juice fast, as seen in Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Because I will be working out quite a bit during that time, I want to make absolutely certain I am getting enough oomph in my diet to continue progressing. I have heard that mixing in chia seeds is a popular method of accomplishing that.

Started P90X with Katie today (though she had to leave early because it is her mother's birthday, so we didn't get to AbRipperX). For now, we are doing it three times a week- her idea- but today she expressed some interest in maybe bumping it up to the full schedule! And, added incentive to keep up with it: one of her roommates will start joining us several times a week. So now there are three people all poking at each other to stay on track.

I've been keeping up with my running schedule, but I'm still experiencing a lot of tightness and sometimes a little pain in my lower-calf/Achilles area. Looking into strengthening exercises and stretches to try and alleviate that, and trying to monitor my runs to not push it to the point of injury. I do think that my endurance is already improving, however. Tomorrow pushes the running up to 90 seconds a shot. I'm interested to see how it goes.

Immediate Reflections on Juicing

Today's juice: kale, cucumber, apple. A much prettier color than yesterday!

Today's run: Day Three of Week One- the same as the rest of the week, 60 seconds jogging with 90 seconds recovery repeated for a total of 20 minutes.

I have arranged with my mother to do a Turkey Trot over Thanksgiving together. We don't know yet which part of the state we will be in on which days, but as we get closer we can actually officially sign up. So this means that for my first race I will have someone to talk to, and for my second (just a week later!) I will have a Santa suit! This seems like a good sign for my running career.

Yesterday, after juicing for the first time, I got on such an energy high. First it was an emotional buzz, pride that I had done it and excitement and the like. Then I think my body realized it actually had micronutrients in it, and it went berserk. I was calling my entire family, trying to get someone on the phone so I could bubble over to them, and realized that I was speed walking in very tight circular paths all over my apartment. So I slipped on my Vibrams in record time, hopped outside, and absolutely booked it about half a mile up an incline. I talked my sister's ear off for about half an hour, wandered around the athletic fields at school, one eye on the soccer game, and then beat the fall of night to get back into my apartment. Made some Mexican rice with brown rice, cleaned up the kitchen some more, and got a wonderful night's sleep.

Actually letting my juice chill this morning, but it should be pretty cold by now, so I'm about to head out to have it!

Getting the Juices Flowing

Holy cow, holy cow, holy cow.

I was feeling particularly sluggish this morning- eating nothing healthy, lying flat on my back glued to my computer, the works. And it just kept eating and eating at my mind. Yes, I know I said I'm not striving for perfection, but this just felt like it was actively causing the problem, rather than maintaining status quo or working to correct it. But I couldn't make myself do anything.

I reopened a document I started a few days ago about juicing. I'd heard about juicing, of course, but never given it much thought until Emily talked about watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Suddenly, juicing was on my mind. I checked my Netflix- Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead was available for instant watching. I instantly watched. Suddenly, juicing was all I could think about.

But I'm on a student budget. The juicer Emily was getting was $200. Hmm. I started brainstorming all of the different ways I could raise that amount of extra cash. Even if I started implementing all of those steps right away, it would still be easily a month before I felt I had the disposable income on hand. And it ate at me.

Then, today, as I moved from lying flat on the couch back to lying flat on my bed, a serious discontentment started festering. About 20 minutes later, I suddenly jackknifed up. I don't remember any thought process taking me there- I think I was in the middle of watching an episode of Chuck- but I had an urgent need to see if Walmart had any juicers. I checked my store specifically. Yes, they had exactly one model in my store- $30, with pretty good reviews. My heart rate skyrocketed. I remained in bed long enough to read through most of the reviews, and check the questions area to see if it would juice greens. All things checked out.

It was a Scarlett O'Hara moment of types. I knew I needed to do it, I knew I couldn't stay in my apartment any longer. I had to go out and get it. I had my makeup on in record time, and was feeling bold enough to wear lip color. Then I remembered to grab a reusable grocery bag, and skipped to my car. I have rarely felt so empowered. I felt oddly serious and driven, but with an underlying jubilation that caused me to loudly sing along to my radio during the drive to Walmart. I marched straight in, located the juicer within a minute, snagged a cheapo pitcher so I can make up large batches in the morning (my model only holds 8oz at a time), and was out of the store within 5 minutes, less than $35 dollars poorer. [Geek sidetrip: according to my microeconomics professor, I may have actually been about $150 richer, because I was able to get something I would have spent almost $200 on for less than $50, thus giving my $150 in Consumer Surplus]

I carefully placed it in the trunk, and then zipped over to Whole Foods, where I scouted for all of the sales on produce. Carrots, Fiji apples, kiwis, a lemon, a grapefruit, two cucumbers, a bunch of kale and a bunch of romaine. I already had spinach, tomatoes, limes, and more lemons in my fridge, languishing unloved in my vegetable crisper. I think I am being entirely honest when I say that I currently have more vegetables in my fridge than I have eaten in my entire college career combined.

Triumphantly returning home, I was energized to clean up my kitchen (which was in an absolutely incredible state this morning, adding to the extreme lazy bum feeling of the morning). I looked up a few recipes online, and decided that there was enough variation to basically wing it. Out came the sparkling new juicer, cleaned and set up, and I chopped up enough kale, cucumber, and carrot to make 1 glass (250 ml/8 oz).

I set it in the fridge to get nice and cold, and cleaned up- really quite an easy affair, though I do need to invest in a cheapo toothbrush to help clean the screen. Around this point I started having my standard "Oh God it's vegetables" brain freeze, so I snatched the juice out of the fridge before it could get properly cold. I took a picture to commemorate the moment, and ran to my computer to crank my number one Changing My Life Song- "Watch Me Shine" by Vanessa Carlton (also known as the song to which Elle Woods changes her life in Legally Blonde). Then I downed it, the whole glass. It wasn't super yummy by any means, but it was certainly palatable. I only had a gag reflex once, towards the very end when all of the micropulp started to build up at the bottom of the glass. But I pushed through and finished it all.

Now I'm all buzzy and super excited. I think I will be jumping up and down and calling my mom in short order, and then probably zooming away on the bike as I cackle hysterically at last night's episode of The Mentalist. I don't even know if it is a particularly funny one, I just think I'm going to find everything as amusing as possible.

I did it! I ingested KALE. I juiced! I have a juicer! And I'm using it! Scarlett O'Hara, this is how we do things in the New South.

Small Steps into Training

Just back in from completing my second training run. That is as far as I have pretty much ever gotten in any self-policed training program ever. Farther, in many cases. I generally stop at the planning stage, or sometimes after Day 1. I also have never had an actual, scheduled event coming up that I have trained for, so hopefully that is the kicker that will continue to get me out the door.

I know from previous experience (walking the Breast Cancer 3-Day -60 miles-) that I can physically finish something relatively low-key but still strenuous without training, but it was darn uncomfortable, and I was near to dead last on each of the two days of it that I walked alone. Note to Self: I want to walk it again. Must start earning money so I don't have to worry about the fund-raising (much harder than walking 60 miles in 3 days on little-to-no training, btw). End Note to Self.

However, I don't want to whimper through my Santa run. I want to charge through it, perhaps with a pathetic time, but with oomph and energy to spare. So training it is.

I was originally going to do my second run yesterday, but as with any time I restart my running program since switching to minimalist running, I have to deal with the overwhelming calf and ankle pain for a few days after as my muscles recover. Yesterday was the peak of the pain, so I scrapped the running plan and pushed it to today. The area below my main calf muscle but above my ankle was still pretty tight today (I suspect my ankles still need a lot of strengthening), but it loosened quite nicely by the end of my run. Still sore, of course, but feeling better.

I felt really strong during the first part of my run today. I felt I could go longer than the prescribed 60 seconds, and take shorter breaks than the prescribed 90 seconds. By the second half, I was dragging a lot more than I was during my first run. Perhaps not enough water and proper fuel this time, or a result of slightly giving in to the urge to push harder during the first half of the run? Time will tell, I suppose. Still learning who I am as a runner. One thing I have learned just from my scattered running exploits over the past year is that I run fast. Not when it comes to sprinting- I'm probably pretty slow at that. But out-on-the-street jogging/running- I zoom. Unintentionally, I assure you. It might be a biproduct of working on quick turnover that will fade away as I settle into my running form, it might be that love of speed I discovered in DC, or it might just be something about my own form or body or what have you. For right now, I consciously work to slow down so I don't exhaust myself early on, but I hope to don't stamp it out. It amuses me!

Now I must go fuel. Normally I'm all about hot beans in some fashion (stir fried tofu, beans with melted cheese, burritos, falafel, etc.), but since San Antonio doesn't believe in fall weather (I just ran in near-90 degree heat), I am actually craving something cold. I think my spinach is probably dead, so I'm running to the local HEB for some spinach, and then it's time to pound back a Green Monster! Woot!

It's Official

Well, I did it. I signed up.

As I walked out of class today, I started to suspect that, seeing as it was a Monday morning, I would find that my parents had replenished my checking account. I logged on as soon as I was in the door, and sure enough, there it was: a nice large, shiny number, from which I immediately removed $38.60 to sign up for a 5k.

I will be running the inaugural Santa Antonia 5k on December 3rd. It's a little more than 6 weeks, but I don't yet know what my Thanksgiving schedule will be, so I couldn't sign up for any Seattle-area Turkey Trots at this time. So maybe, by the time I get around to it, the Santa Antonia won't be my first race. But it will be my first in a Santa suit! That's right- they provide every runner with a Santa suit on race day. I am so psyched. (I have a serious love for all things Christmas)

As previously stated, I am running this thing whether I train or not. So, in order to feel better about it all, I'm going to train! I'm all dressed, I've just checked Day 1 of the Couch-to-5k program, and I'm about to head out the door.

And this evening, Katie is coming over for our first day of co-P90X-ing!

Two major undertakings started in one day. I'm so accomplished! (And yes, my first 5k totally counts as a major undertaking. I don't care if it is weeny compared to the ultimate goal of running ultramarathons, for me to be able to run for a mile without stopping is going to be huge. I am so excited!).

An Hour a Day

I found a list on Huffington Post that shows the most common habits among people who have lost a great deal of weight and kept it off for at least five years. The key findings that interested me:

1. 78% eat breakfast every morning. I vacillate when it comes to how good I am at this. I generally strive to, but sometimes sleep or last-minute studying take the place of getting up early enough to eat before I run off to class. I will work on improving my consistency.
2. 90% exercise about an hour a day. It doesn't specify cardio or weights, but I want to make sure I am doing both. Simply being skinny has never excited me- I want to be tone. I want defined arms and abs. I want to be able to pull myself up onto that darn dock in Chelan. But I also want to stop being out of breath whenever I have to make the mad dash from my dance class all the way across campus to my economics class in one passing period.
3. 62& watch fewer than 10 hours of TV a week. I have three, soon to be four, shows I watch each week. This should bring me to a mere 4 hours, but I have a tendency to channel surf sometimes. I am instituting a new rule: the 4 shows can be, but don't need to be, watched while sedentary on the couch. Anything else, be it a game or an awards show or any other movie or show I find, must be watched from on the bike. Still trying to figure out what rule I institute for watching Netflix on my computer. 

Specific to getting my minimum of one hour in a day, then. One of my best friends lives a two minute walk from my door, and works out pretty diligently. After talking about it earlier in the week, we are officially partnering up to do P90X. Right now, we are just scheduled for three days a week, but I am going to add in at least some basic resistance training on off days, so that I don't go two weeks between exercising a particular muscle group as we currently will be scheduled to do. It's an actual proper schedule- specific times on specific days. I can already tell that I'm going to be pretty hard-nosed about it. I don't intend for us to miss these sessions.

Finally, for my running. I read over Emily's Journey to Running this morning, and she started out right where I am now. So, as soon as I get some money back in my account, I am signing up- and paying for- a 5K. Two months away, maximum. And then I am going to run it whether I train for it or not. I'm hoping that having that looming deadline will get me out and training more often than not. Maybe I'll luck out and my friend will train for that with me as well, or I can at least get a friend to run it with me, but regardless, I need to actually get out there and run a race. Running just isn't happening for me without something to strive to. So let's see what happens when there is a tangible goal.

Perfection

An amazing thing happened about 10 days ago.

I decided to stop feeling guilty about eating junk food, and just subscribe to Michael Pollan's idea: you can have as much junk food as you want, you just have to make it yourself. I promptly made myself some cookie dough, as I often do. Usually, an entire (half-recipe) batch is gone within about 24 hours. Not good. And I feel guilty from the moment I think of making it to well after I have finished scraping the bowl.

This time, it lasted almost a week. I could go snag a bite or two whenever I wanted to, no strings attached. Most of the time, that more than took the edge off of the sugar craving, and I wandered away, or ate some beans if I was actually hungry.


I also decided that going completely whole hog with vegetables and One Hundred Percent Mega Nutritional Meals Only was not really working about, and I didn't want to spend time in my kitchen. In addition to working harder to keep my kitchen a physically inviting space, I also decided to focus on just getting in there and cooking most meals, regardless of their nutrients. Making alfredo sauce on pasta, or buttermilk pancakes, or what have you, is going to be a sight better than nuking some pizza rolls or filling up on cookie dough because I just want out of that darn kitchen. 

And then I started making reasonably healthy things, based on craving alone. Sun-dried tomato pesto on whole wheat bowtie pasta. Falafel (I think this is the best batch I've ever made!!). Peanut-sauce tofu and quinoa.


Once I took the pressure off of myself to be immediately perfect, I started improving! I've still got a long way to go, but I've already lost two pounds this week. So something is starting to work.

The Check Out Line

Generally, I feel moderately okay to moderately shameful/guilty when I am checking out at the grocery store. Moderately good: canned beans, Lean Cuisine, skim milk, whole wheat tortellini, and maybe something naughty. Moderately shameful/guilty: several naughty items (white cheddar popcorn, chocolate, pizza rolls, ice cream, etc.), and maybe something "healthy" like a Lean Cuisine.

I have read on multiple occasions about how we have an incorrect idea of what eating healthy is in the US- Lean Cuisines and 100-calorie packs and lowfat options for everything. I don't think that we necessarily need to completely cut out those things, and they have their place in a healthy diet, but I agree- eating those alone is not a truly healthy, nutritious diet.

Today, though, today I felt great. This entire weekend is going to be thunderstorms in my part of Texas, so I ran out to Whole Foods to restock before the roads flooded (they like to do that here. Today, I also learned that my "safe" alternate route, the freeway, also floods! Good to know). I didn't really notice until I was checking out, but I had solely awesome goodies in my basket. I felt so proud to lay out my stash- a bunch of bananas, baby spinach, two packs of extra firm tofu, a little bit of garam masala from the bulk bins, adzuki beans from bulk, black rice from bulk, raw cashew pieces from bulk, Greek yogurt (2 plain, 2 vanilla), and gluten-free multi-grain penne. Grains, beans, nuts, tofu, yogurt, and fresh produce. I feel like such a health nut vegetarian! Which is, of course, the goal.

I'm trying to focus in on the really positive and really negative feelings various types of eating provoke lately. Yes, I always feel really happy and good when I am making, and even eating my white cheddar sauce on whole wheat penne. But I always feel ill afterwards. I am testing out some GF pasta this week, to see if that is the culprit. When I was eating nothing but beans, yogurt, and whole grains during the summer, I felt ecstatic working out, practically getting giddy when I surged forward in a resistance exercise. Now, I feel weak and shaky early on in a workout. On the more mental side, I generally feel ashamed and guilty when I am at the grocery store, especially lately, but then today I felt so proud and special!

One of the things I have learned in my quest to kick my eating disorder is that there are two major aspects: changing habits (what you physically do) and changing mindsets (how you feel about what you do and don't do, why you do what you physically do). Changing habits is going to be making food substitutions, writing about why I want to binge instead of bingeing (is it actually binging? That sounds like it should be pronounced Bing-Ing, but it's all my spell-check is offering...), riding my bike instead of snacking while I watch TV. Changing my mindset is going to be about focusing in on these good feelings, until they become the norm and the craving, not the exciting exception.

So, what have I learned about what makes me feel good in the check out line? Whole foods, natural fuel for the body. Ingredients for a recipe, not a list of ingredients in and of themselves. I like that the yogurt was the most packaged, processed thing on the belt. I love that I had fresh produce. I love that I had uncooked beans. And tofu just always sends a good message.

Things to know for the future.

Peanut Sauce Quest

I may have just stumbled upon the end of my quest for The Perfect Peanut Sauce. For several years now I have been wandering through the archives of endless food blogs and recipe books, searching for that elusive mixture of reasonable health/nutrition and restaurant taste. Each time I find something that seems so promising, something falls flat when I actually make it. Generally, it's the sesame oil. I love the idea of it, but I hate the taste every time. Not like my dislike of vegetables, where it's more of the same mentality that makes me freak out over microscopic spiders than actual distate. I strongly dislike the taste of sesame oil. Some are too sweet (I honestly didn't think there was such a thing until I finally tasted it), others too bland, some just plain weird tasting. Every blogger insists that it is The Peanut Sauce For All Eternity, so feel free to take my recipe in stride. But, here it is, in its current form. I want to transition it a little healthier, using natural peanut butter or maybe even PB2, and then cutting down a little on the agave. But for now, here it is:

Equal parts soy sauce, amber agave syrup (or maple syrup), and water. Add a scoop of peanut butter roughly equivalent to the combined liquids. Shake on some powdered ginger, chili powder, and garlic powder. Whisk to combine. It won't want to whisk at first (peanut butter can be fussy that way)- persevere. It will give into your demands eventually, and taste absolutely amazing.

This was good on its own, and good on quinoa and rice. It was absolute perfection, however, when sauteed onto tofu (see Emily's tofu marinade for the process, just sub in this peanut sauce). Warm, sweet and savory both, an absolute perfect compliment to the subtle flavors of the tofu.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm in love. And I may have completed my quest.

Steam Frying and Derrière Burning

In light with my topic from yesterday- too many diverging dietary opinions- I have another little compromise I'm going to make. As I was making up some of my healthy falafel for lunch, I thought about how many things I will be sauteing in olive oil in the coming months. At least it's good for me, right? Then we run into the whole debate on oils. Gah.

For some items, I am going to continue to use the olive oil. Probably with the falafel, possibly also with the tofu. Though I do want to experiment with baked falafel.... Anywhoo, for the standard "saute the onions" bit that precedes most recipes, I want to experiment with this:






Hopefully I can figure out how to do this with other items, though I have my doubts about it being a viable option for tofu. I guess it's worth trying, though! (Also- assuming the man in that video is neither married nor gay, I call dibs, ladies)


In quick workout news, stalled on P90X Day 2, but getting back on the horse tonight. Not going to allow myself to feel guilty- the first day I missed was due to honestly not having the time- I was working on homework or in class from 8am to 3:30am. The days that have come since are not ideal, but starting something as big as P90X is bound to have a few stumbles. I don't want many, but I don't view having one or two as failure. As long as I get back on the horse, that is ;)

Additionally, I did a standard longer bike ride this morning, then hopped on for some HIIT. Only made it through 2 high-intensity intervals instead of the goal 4, but my heart and breath were going nicely haywire. I can still feel a little of that horrid feeling in the top of my chest that I get when I really push it on cardio, and it's been easily half an hour now. Walking was also interesting for at least 10 minutes- recumbent bikes are excellent for the posterior region!

Taking a Look at Beans

Maybe I'm just using the wrong search terms. But I'm unable to come up with a simple list or chart that discusses the various nutritional aspects of the different varieties of beans and lentils. I've found ones that discuss tastes and what they are best paired with, and individual pages that go into absolutely exhaustive length about the specific nutritional breakdowns of individual beans. No basic list that says "Chickpeas are good sources of x, y, and z, and work well in q. Black beans are high in j, as well as being good sources of k and l." So, I'm going to take 30 minutes and make up my own, posted here for future reference.

NUTRITIONAL PROFILE OF BEANS

• Adzuki Beans
• Sweet, "nutty flavor"
• Good source of iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and folic acid
• High in protein, low in fat
• Black beans
• Excellent source of protein, folate, and fiber
• Good source of iron, magnesium, thiamin
• Good source of antioxidants
• Dense texture, water used to boil is useful for seasoning other dishes
• Garbanzo Beans 
• Good for use in Middle Eastern recipes like falafel and hummus
• Extremely high in protein
• Good source of carbs for people with insulin sensitivity
• Good source of folate and dietary fiber, source of iron, magnesium, and phosphorus
• Kidney Beans
• Absolutely vital to boil these for at least 10 minutes. NEVER consume raw or undercooked
• High in fiber, protein, folate, and iron
• Vitamin K, Thiamin, Phosphorus, mangesium, manganese, potassium
• Lentils
• particularly high in protein (of all vegetable sources, rank third under soy and hemp)
• extremely low in fat
• Good source of fiber
• Excellent source of iron (more than half the recommended daily value), folate, and thiamin
• Lima Beans
• Keep blood sugars steady, good for those with insulin sensitivities
• High in fiber, iron
• Lowers cholesterol
• Good source of folate, manganese, etc.
• Navy Beans
• Helps lower cholesterol, fights cancer cell growth, antibacterial and antifungal properties
• Extremely low in fat, extremely high in fiber
• Good source of calcium and iron
• Good source of protein
• Pinto Beans
• Help to reduce cholesterol 
• When combined with rice, makes for a complete protein
• Excellent source of fiber
• Good source of iron, phosphorous, manganese
• Soy Beans
• Contains all of the essential amino acids- a complete protein in and of itself
• particularly high in protein, as well
• Vitamin B6, Vitamin K
• Good source of calcium and fiber
• Excellent source of iron (looks like pretty much the entire recommended amount)
• Split Peas
• particularly excellent source of protein and fiber
• Strong source of iron, thiamine, folate
• extremely low in fat

Note: "Good Source" generally means 10-30% (I wasn't too specific). It might occasionally deviate, but if I wasn't blown away but it seemed somewhat significant, it got this designation

Having done this, I wanted to take a quick look at some of the repeating nutrients I was relatively unfamiliar with. Here is what they do for you:

• phosphorus
• part of the structural framework of DNA and RNA, used to transport energy between cells
• When combined with calcium, helps strengthen bones and tooth enamel
• Important to not overload your body with phosphorus- at extremely high levels, it starts to affect the body's ability to absorb other important nutrients
• manganese
• helps the superoxide your body produces to kill pathogens and infections not kill you
• magnesium
• essential for the functioning of virtually every cell type in your body
• If using only dietary sources, and not supplements, nearly impossible to overdose, as kidneys are efficient at flushing it
• Magnesium deficiency can lead to development of asthma, diabetes, and osteoporosis
• potassium
• nerve transmissions, healthy cardiac system, healthy nervous system- keeps brain firing, keeps muscles from contracting
• folate
• One of the B-vitamins (B9)
• helps synthesize and repair DNA
• produces healthy red blood cells and thus prevents anemia 
• Not getting enough can lead to cancer, but can be problematic once you already have cancer (due to its proclivity for enhancing the ability of cells to regenerate, regardless of how good those cells are for you)
• especially important for pregnant women
• vitamin K
• blood coagulation and bone metabolism (no idea what the latter is, but it sounds important)
• zinc
• structural role with protein
• eyes and brain function
• metabolism of DNA and RNA
• reproductive systems
• thiamine
• B1
• breaks down sugars in the diet
• aids the nervous system and heart

Final Note: this is my own loose research. Think of it as Wikipedia when starting a research paper- it gives you a general framework, but you are better off sticking to the experts for actual usable data. 

Too Many Cooks

When I started getting serious about turning my health around, I started hitting the books, and more specifically, the blogs, like crazy. I read and read and read and collected tips and made lists of foods to get and routines to start. I gradually filtered my way down to what I follow on a regular basis. Out went a lot of larger, less targeted places, like AOL Health, and even Shape Magazine, and now I always get a little bummed out on weekends because Emily and Angela take the weekends off. I also love Matt over at NoMeatAthlete.

Though there are individual differences, overall these three sites provide me with relatively similar overall health schemes. Something I've started to figure out over the past few months is, I really shouldn't delve any deeper than that right now. As you start delving deeper, you start getting more and more contradictory evidence. How much protein do you really need? Are grains and beans superfoods, or are they slowly killing you? Fruit- yes or no? Everyone has scientific evidence up the wahzoo about why their set-up is best. Everyone has anecdotes and the very compelling story of their own personal enlightenment.

I know of two quick-loss diets with very similar concepts. Stick with veggies and protein most of the time, and occasionally splurge on what you want. In one plan, it's at dinner, in the other, it's one day a week. Both forbid fruit except during the splurges. However, one expressly forbids beans but highly encourages dairy. The other expressly forbids dairy but insists it will never work without beans. At one point early in the summer, I literally wandered around my kitchen starving for three hours because I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be eating. I don't actually remember what I ended up having, but I'm fairly certain it was in violation of both.

Even though I haven't properly stuck to either- one of my favorite No-Starchy-Grains Diet meals is beans and cheese, which has a strike against it in either column- I have felt a little guilty for months every time I have a grain. There is the little voice somewhere wondering if I shouldn't be having it, because it will slow down my weight loss.

Yes, I would love for the pounds to just fall off. There was a brief glorious period in the summer of 2009 when I dropped about 25 pounds practically without thinking about it. Every single morning, I would excitedly rush to the scale and see at least 1, often 2 or 3 pounds off the previous day. I've isolated everything I can think of about that month, and tried to recreate it, and so far, nada. Can't repeat it. I've just come to realize in the past day or so that that drop in 2009 brought me to a state of equilibrium. At the amount I eat, the quality of what I eat, and the amount of exercise I get, this is where I stay pretty darn consistently. It oscillates by about 5-8 pounds depending on how good or bad I am being month to month, but it has not strayed from the same 10-pound range (think 0-10, 10-20, 20-30, 130-140) in two years, save for a few precious days when it dipped down into the 9.5s of the next 10-range, on a few occasions.

To be accurate, I actually realized the equilibrium factor over a year ago. Where I am really going with this is that in the past day I have realized that quick change probably isn't really an option right now. I need to work with what I have to get what I want. One of the things I have right now is a fondness for whole grains and beans, and a distaste for most fruits and vegetables. I am working steadily to improve my palate for the fruits and veggies, but I'm not going to turn up my nose at nutrient-dense grains and beans that have been sustaining highly active and healthy populations for millenia if I know I'm not going to be replacing it with produce.

I'm going to stop delving deeper, and just enjoy my two blogs that I know and love. A few years down the road, when it is a lifestyle and not a goal/transition, I would love to start looking into raw veganism and the "fruitarian" 80-10-10 thing discussed on NoMeatAthlete today. But if I do it now, I either won't eat, or I'll end up self-destructing, figuring that I can't win in any case, so might as well eat junk that I know is junk. I'm going to read NoMeatAthlete a little more carefully for right now, since he discusses and sometimes espouses a lot of the more intense options. I need to stop confusing myself. I need to get to the point where I'm addicted to how good I feel physically (and emotionally) when I treat my body right. Right now, I love how that feels, but I'm addicted to the emotional feeling I get from stuffing my face with things I know are bad for me. So I'm not going to worry about what The Ultimate Best Way to treat my body is. I'm just going to focus on treating it a lot better.

Off to a Good Start

52 minutes on the bike today, for 8.78 miles and supposedly 450 calories. Those things tend to be inflated, but I think it probably still did me some good! Legs feeling decidedly shaky, even if I wasn't absolutely pouring sweat or out of breath at any point.

Did my first day of P90X today! Actually tracked my reps this time, which I didn't do when I first experimented with it in France. I had to cut out early on the AbRipper part, due partly to muscle fatigue, but also in large part to just plain running out of steam. I first noticed this second phenomenon during the second half of the summer at SuperFit, after I stopped fueling as well as I did during the first half. My body just doesn't have the energy to go all-out during an intense workout, because I am not feeding it properly. Had some of the chili today, so that's a start, and now that I've busted through that barrier, I'm going to use it in burritos with some of the quinoa that's also chilling in the fridge.

Didn't get any time in on the bike yesterday, but I was out and active all day. Well, not active all day, since we were floating a river, but I put in quite a few good swim intervals, especially when I was towing 7 linked tubes with my friends in them. I now sport some very interesting-looking sunburns, despite my best efforts to stay sun-safe. Off for shower and more aloe, then!

Tomorrow: long easy bike (probably with television or movie), and short interval bike. Day 2 of P90X (I think it's legs and back?). Beans in at least two meals or snacks, whole grain in at least one. I have the sweet chili sauce, so tofu is a distinct possibility, though I don't have anything for the quinoa yet. Hopefully I can find a good teriyaki joint around here that sells their teriyaki sauce. If not, there is always peanut sauce, and in one week (!!) I will be 21 and will be able to buy my own sake to make my own teriyaki sauce.

Learning About the Bike

Work on the Bike:

Day 1:

• Bike arrives
• Put together
• 35 minutes, 6 miles

Day 2:

• Busy all day, but hop on for my minimum required 10 minutes of solid, sweat-inducing work around 1:30 am after DD-ing and dancing all night.

Day 3:

• 50 minutes of medium resistance- enough to feel it the whole time, and work up a consistent sweat, but not to be ragged of breath or pouring sweat. No intervals, but knocked out a good 8 miles while catching up on my USA Network genius. 
• For now, this won't count as an actual workout, but will count as time put on the bike each day. However, depending on how I schedule my HITT workouts, 8 miles that leave the legs a little shaky might count as my cardio for a few days each week. I'd like to have a bit more rise in the heart rate, though. This was mainly just to keep moving instead of vegging. 

Today's experiment in using the bike while marathoning television was at once successful, informative, and perhaps a little disappointing. Overall, however, I will qualify it as a success. I burned some calories, and handily kept myself from munching while watching- a double win there! Sometimes I will want to log an actual workout while watching television, but I think just simple moving and breaking a sweat is also a worthy occupation. The main disappointment came from how much I noticed it, for what I wanted to be just moving. Time passed pretty quickly, but I was also pretty aware that I was on the bike for just about the entire time.  I only got a little into the second episode before I decided to hop off the bike. I think within a week or two I should be able to go for 3 episodes at a time, once I get some proper fuel in me, and build up a little strength and awareness again. It's been a while since I've been on a bike, and since I've eaten right.

My goals for this Saturday, then:

1. Clear up the space/finish organizing the space in the front room where I will do P90X (though I did just have a brain wave the I can probably put it on my laptop and do it in the dining room, which requires no rearranging. Should still organize the front room, though....)
2. Clean up the kitchen enough so that I am excited to be in there cooking up good things. Maybe try out that new energy bar formula on No Meat Athlete... I need to break in that food processor at some point!
3. Heat up some of the chili and have it over quinoa. I need to get some nutrients in this body, and fast! It's getting angry at me. 
4. Get the makings for peanut sauce, and sweet chili sauce so that I have stuff for tofu. I know Emily at Daily Garnish loves it with just salt and pepper, but I don't know that I'm there yet. 
5. Commit to a blender. Get said blender. Make a mini Green Monster and just down it. 
6. Homework....