The Check Out Line

Generally, I feel moderately okay to moderately shameful/guilty when I am checking out at the grocery store. Moderately good: canned beans, Lean Cuisine, skim milk, whole wheat tortellini, and maybe something naughty. Moderately shameful/guilty: several naughty items (white cheddar popcorn, chocolate, pizza rolls, ice cream, etc.), and maybe something "healthy" like a Lean Cuisine.

I have read on multiple occasions about how we have an incorrect idea of what eating healthy is in the US- Lean Cuisines and 100-calorie packs and lowfat options for everything. I don't think that we necessarily need to completely cut out those things, and they have their place in a healthy diet, but I agree- eating those alone is not a truly healthy, nutritious diet.

Today, though, today I felt great. This entire weekend is going to be thunderstorms in my part of Texas, so I ran out to Whole Foods to restock before the roads flooded (they like to do that here. Today, I also learned that my "safe" alternate route, the freeway, also floods! Good to know). I didn't really notice until I was checking out, but I had solely awesome goodies in my basket. I felt so proud to lay out my stash- a bunch of bananas, baby spinach, two packs of extra firm tofu, a little bit of garam masala from the bulk bins, adzuki beans from bulk, black rice from bulk, raw cashew pieces from bulk, Greek yogurt (2 plain, 2 vanilla), and gluten-free multi-grain penne. Grains, beans, nuts, tofu, yogurt, and fresh produce. I feel like such a health nut vegetarian! Which is, of course, the goal.

I'm trying to focus in on the really positive and really negative feelings various types of eating provoke lately. Yes, I always feel really happy and good when I am making, and even eating my white cheddar sauce on whole wheat penne. But I always feel ill afterwards. I am testing out some GF pasta this week, to see if that is the culprit. When I was eating nothing but beans, yogurt, and whole grains during the summer, I felt ecstatic working out, practically getting giddy when I surged forward in a resistance exercise. Now, I feel weak and shaky early on in a workout. On the more mental side, I generally feel ashamed and guilty when I am at the grocery store, especially lately, but then today I felt so proud and special!

One of the things I have learned in my quest to kick my eating disorder is that there are two major aspects: changing habits (what you physically do) and changing mindsets (how you feel about what you do and don't do, why you do what you physically do). Changing habits is going to be making food substitutions, writing about why I want to binge instead of bingeing (is it actually binging? That sounds like it should be pronounced Bing-Ing, but it's all my spell-check is offering...), riding my bike instead of snacking while I watch TV. Changing my mindset is going to be about focusing in on these good feelings, until they become the norm and the craving, not the exciting exception.

So, what have I learned about what makes me feel good in the check out line? Whole foods, natural fuel for the body. Ingredients for a recipe, not a list of ingredients in and of themselves. I like that the yogurt was the most packaged, processed thing on the belt. I love that I had fresh produce. I love that I had uncooked beans. And tofu just always sends a good message.

Things to know for the future.

Peanut Sauce Quest

I may have just stumbled upon the end of my quest for The Perfect Peanut Sauce. For several years now I have been wandering through the archives of endless food blogs and recipe books, searching for that elusive mixture of reasonable health/nutrition and restaurant taste. Each time I find something that seems so promising, something falls flat when I actually make it. Generally, it's the sesame oil. I love the idea of it, but I hate the taste every time. Not like my dislike of vegetables, where it's more of the same mentality that makes me freak out over microscopic spiders than actual distate. I strongly dislike the taste of sesame oil. Some are too sweet (I honestly didn't think there was such a thing until I finally tasted it), others too bland, some just plain weird tasting. Every blogger insists that it is The Peanut Sauce For All Eternity, so feel free to take my recipe in stride. But, here it is, in its current form. I want to transition it a little healthier, using natural peanut butter or maybe even PB2, and then cutting down a little on the agave. But for now, here it is:

Equal parts soy sauce, amber agave syrup (or maple syrup), and water. Add a scoop of peanut butter roughly equivalent to the combined liquids. Shake on some powdered ginger, chili powder, and garlic powder. Whisk to combine. It won't want to whisk at first (peanut butter can be fussy that way)- persevere. It will give into your demands eventually, and taste absolutely amazing.

This was good on its own, and good on quinoa and rice. It was absolute perfection, however, when sauteed onto tofu (see Emily's tofu marinade for the process, just sub in this peanut sauce). Warm, sweet and savory both, an absolute perfect compliment to the subtle flavors of the tofu.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm in love. And I may have completed my quest.

Good Diet = Good Performance

Before I get into the heart of today's post, I just wanted to share some news: I officially kicked off my summer running program. My goal is to be able to pretty solidly run/jog (whichever I tend naturally towards, I guess) 2-3 miles. I'm still deciding this week whether I want to train with the standard Couch to 5k program (7 weeks to be able to walk/run a 5k, or a little over 3 miles) or with this "8 Weeks to Become a Runner" program over at Runner's World (8 weeks to run nonstop for 30 minutes, or a little over 2 miles). One lets me cover more distance, one lets me go for longer times. But regardless of which I end up with, the first week works roughly the same.

Unlike prior attempts at running, this summer I am not just deciding to myself that it would be cool. I have roped in my parents to keep me honest, and I will be printing out my training schedule once I decide on it and posting it in the kitchen, for all to see, crossing off days as I complete them. If I can complete either of these programs by the time I get to San Antonio in late August, I will be prepped and ready to join the half-marathon training group run by my school. Today, I went power-walking with my dad for a good 75 minutes or so, on hilly terrain, with 7 separate jog intervals thrown in. Not by time, but rather by distance. We estimate that the majority were about 100-125 yards, but one was an absolute killer, and included a pretty decent hill. I'm still working on keeping my pace slower but my foot rate quicker, and I experimented with the whole "leaning forward at the ankles" style. It shows definite promise, but it's going to take some getting used to.

So much for a quick update!

What I've really been wanting to get on here and talk about for a few days now is nutrition and work-out recovery. Not in the traditional sense of what to eat immediately following a workout. Rather, how my overall nutrition has affected my ability to recover from workouts.

Though I started making an effort last summer, I didn't really start eating in a totally nutritious manner, focusing on whole foods, until this past month. And despite the fact that on my first day back at Superfit I could barely squeak out reps on Blue, I am now solidly in Red, even on my weaker muscle groups like biceps and chest. I can do the full set of reps, and not be dead the next day. I'm eyeing the calendar for when I want to make the transition into Silver. I've never done Silver, but then I've never had my muscles repairing themselves this quickly.

Beans have been a large part of my focus. Refried beans with melted white cheddar for breakfast, red beans and rice for lunch or as a dinner side, sauteed tofu every which way, Cuban black beans with a little feta on top, hummus (the perfect homemade hummus is still a work in progress), sauteed falafel (nailed it on my first shot, and now it is an essential), burritos, and black bean chilies. Good sources of healthy carbs, protein, and with the exception of the tofu, fiber. All low calorie, as well. I'm not really counting calories as I go, but when I look back to see how I've been doing, I can tell that I'm staying nicely under 1500 most days.

I'm not doing milk much anymore, preferring to drink water with meals and use yogurt for my cereal, but I'm still getting in dairy. As I just said, yogurt features prominently. Still can't stand it plain, unless it is for my tzatziki sauce for my falafel, but vanilla on its own, or mixed with some Kashi Go Lean Crunch. Pretty hooked on Trader Joe's non-fat Greek yogurt right now, but I'm going to need to find an acceptable alternate, because Texas has no Trader Joe's. The nearest one to my university is over 600 miles away. Boo. Also eating small amounts of many different cheeses. Still having love affairs with feta from my time in Greece and goat cheese from my time in Paris, of course. And sometimes when I'm feeling naughty I use my vegetarian parmesan (and white cheddar if it is in the house) to make an alfredo sauce for my whole wheat penne. Made with limited butter, non-fat milk, and whole wheat flour, so I'm not being too horrible, but definitely not a simple pesto or marinara sauce.

Grains are always easy to work in. I finally got a strainer small enough to rinse my quinoa, and it really does make a difference to the taste! It's wonderful now! I'm making up batches of brown rice or quinoa each week to have as a side with my tofu, since I found out that tofu has no fiber (who knew?). Though I bet the sprouted tofu I've seen at Trader Joes does... must investigate. Then, of course, there is whole wheat pasta, corn tortillas, and the occasional healthy whole wheat pancake inspired by the various creations of Angela at Oh She Glows.

I want to work in more vegetables. A few weeks ago I was able to eat some stir-fried carrots and broccoli without the customary gag reflex (pretty much entirely a mental thing). I've asked my dad to help me learn how to do it myself. I'm also aggressively attacking my issue with onions (they make that horrid squeaking sound in your ear when you bit into them) by adding them to as many recipes as I can find. Raw but processed in my falafel, and whole but sauteed in my Cuban black beans. And more Green Monsters. I just want to figure out a way to do so that keeps the amount of beans, grains, nuts, and yogurt that I am enjoying in my diet right now, and the right amount of calories to give me enough energy to continue moving up in my weights. Especially now that I am adding in cardio to my non-Superfit days. I will have a slight increased need for calories, but I don't think I will actually need to increase my intake much at all.

From my small binge last week, I learned that I actually have significantly decreased my stomach size, or whatever else it is that causes you to feel full at various quantities of food. When I was bingeing horribly in France, I could pack away a disturbingly large portion of food before I felt it. Last week, it was easily half that before I had to take a "I feel sick" pause. I'd like to not alter that with added consumption of vegetables. So it's something to consider.

But, point being: being fit is so much easier when you are fueling right! Letting your body recover and build strong new systems with the right nutrients feels wonderful and speeds up improvement. Something to remember for the future, when I am tempted to stray into packaged meals and all white food and the like.

Push-up Princess

Question: when fighting off a cold, does one refrain from exercising so the body can use all available energy for said fighting, or does one go in for at least a light work-out in the name of keeping in fighting shape?

I'm compromising right now by not going for the run I wanted, but still working up a light sweat with my push-up regimen. Might even toss in the AbRipperX a little later. Maybe a walk instead of a run?

The push-ups are going really well. I missed almost a week of it because of a weekend trip to London, and was really worried about starting back up. I started in the second column, and I really struggled with the first week. So, two days ago, I very nervously re-did the third day of Week One. And I rocked it! I felt really strong, and was able to power them out in good form, rather than grunt through each and every one. I just finished Day One of Week Two, and I didn't even feel the first two sets- that's 20 push-ups combined! Full disclosure, I am doing knee push-ups. But once I finish the full 6 weeks, I will start over at full push-ups. A scary but exciting thought!

Eating sans-fridge is still proving to be an adventure. The almond milk didn't hold up as well as I would have liked, so I started making overnight oats with just water. Except the second day I did it, they tasted almost spoiled! No idea what that was about. The oats themselves are fine, I've used them in a few other things since.

Found a great recipe for raw, vegan "cookie dough," which I was really craving yesterday. I wanted SUGAR, darn it, but I didn't want to go buy Mars Bars at the local grocer. And even though I have never really had any qualms about eating unrefrigerated cookie dough, and they don't refrigerate their eggs here, I kinda didn't want to go get all of the stuff for regular cookie dough- flour and baking soda and whatnot. But I found a recipe that uses oats, cashews, agave nectar/syrup, and vanilla- all things I have! I don't have a food processor, but I put the cashews and oats into a plastic bag and completely wore out my arm muscles smashing them with my jar of cinnamon. Didn't completely make my oat-cashew flour, so my "cookie dough" is really more of a chunky oat-nut blend, but it tastes fabulous! And I like knowing that it is made almost entirely of oats and nuts, so I feel pretty okay about eating it. Granted, agave syrup is well, syrup, and cashews are a pretty high-card nut, but it's pretty decent, considering. And it's actually whole food.

I've made my peanut sauce on lentils and quinoa a few more times- last time, I greatly overestimated the amount of sauce I needed, so I ended up making more of a soup. I added a few liberal spoonfuls of chia to dry things up a bit. Still not loving the taste of lentils, but it's working. One of these days that I am in the room pretty much the entire day, I should make a batch of crispy tofu squares a la Daily Garnish and just make little bits of peanut sauce throughout the day to dip them in.